Find Yourself Columbia

A friend of mine jokes that she only spent four years at Columbia College so she could wear her cap and gown to a graduation ceremony in Grant Park. So why can’t she? For that matter, why can’t I. I can’t help but share her disappointment. If I wanted to graduate at UIC I would’ve attended UIC. After all, Grant Park is Columbia’s front yard, isn’t it? I know I didn’t make that up. Why should we have to walk across another school’s stage when one of the greatest public parks in the world is right across the street?

This begs another question, since I’m sure Pres. Carter has a whole chest full of excuses for the first.

When is Columbia going to get a sizable auditorium of its own? That way, even if we couldn’t walk in the park we could at least walk at our own school. Columbia is the largest landowner in the South Loop, I’m told, and new buildings are sprouting up left and right. Here’s an idea. Since we’re a school known for performing arts and all, why don’t we build a building where artists can perform for large audiences? We could even host events like Manifest and the Biggest Mouth Competition inside. Until then, let’s graduate in the damn park already!

Would you rather graduate in Grant Park or walk the stage at another school?

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As we prepare for another semester to end, some familiar hotspots come to the surface of Columbia’s student body. So make sure those cargo shorts are loosened, those tee shirts stretched, and get ready for these mild-mannered art kids to go all Bruce Banner on this bitch.

Rant one: If no one is there to tell me about it, does graduation really exist?

It’s May and that can only mean one thing to the senior class: time to break out the booze and commence the crap out of this school.

But it would appear, to a few of this week’s ranters, that the school isn’t being very forthcoming in how one might actually graduate at all.

“Why do they make it so hard to graduate?” asked Matthew Bradwell, a graduating senior who left a 4-minute long epic this week. “By and large, the school is very good at general infrastructure and such, but when you get to your last semester they’re just like, ‘oh hey, here is 25 things that you have to do that you’ve never even heard of. Oh, and how are you going to do them? We aren’t going to tell you. We’re just going to tell you that you have to do them’.”

Strong words, and ones we may not have been inclined to believe off first blush, had it not been for our next ranter.

“How disappointed I am that [Columbia] didn’t inform the students about the graduation ceremony,” said senior Kaitlyn McAvoy, also graduating this semester. “I heard from several people and we have no information about what’s going on Saturday and Sunday about our graduation ceremonies. I just feel like Columbia needs to inform the students better about the ceremony. Not just posted online, and not just relying on the students to find out for themselves.”

What came first: the chicken or the egg? Why doesn’t anyone realize Clark Kent is Superman with glasses? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Does commencement exist at an arts school in the South Loop of Chicago?

The world may never know.

Rant two: Is my teacher from the black lagoon or the seventh circle of Hell?

Yes, we all have had those teachers who have made us seriously question why we’re doling out several thousands of dollars to go to that deluxe apartment in the sky—or this case, instead of a community college or typical four year university.

However, I think one Columbia student put it best with this rant.

“Whenever I complain about the crappy teachers, nothing ever gets done,” said Matthew Bradwell, a graduating senior. “They tell me something will be done, but nothing ever does. I’d like to know that when I [fill out the evaluation], I want to know at the very least that the person will feel guilty.”

Oh, who doesn’t want that pesky Belding to feel guilty for sending Zach to detention all those times?

Then there are those teachers who make us feel like the cheap, makeup-drenched hussies we are.

Wait…what?

“[F-bomb] teachers going and trying to blackmail students to put [stuff] on websites that they own,” said junior Eric Rehm. “It’s basically [f-bomb] slave labor and it’s a bunch of [excrement from a horned mammal].”

Apparently, some teachers require that students in the J-school have to get one article from their class published in order to get an “A” grade. Also, apparently they use school-affiliated sites to do so.

Kind of a win/win, if you ask me. But then again…I like wearing eye shadow and flaunting my stuff all over town.

Sadly, crappy teachers are here to stay. We can’t all have a Mr. Feeny in our lives.

And we come to the wee little rants…

Junior Eli Kaberon doesn’t like how breaks are divided up.

“I don’t like at Columbia that the winter break is seven weeks long, and the thanksgiving break is two days long,” he said. “They should change that.”

Yeah! I’m all about the equality freight train, so lets get on this and Obama-ize it!

Epic rant-ist Matthew Bradwell also had thoughts on the Chronicle.

Memo to the editorial staff: he’s not a fan.

“The Chronicle needs to have a sports section, even if the student body doesn’t read sports,” he said. “The student body doesn’t care about the Chronicle. The Chronicle exists to boost the resumes of the journalism students, and one-fifth of us are in sports journalism.”

Talk about boom goes the dynamite.

And we’ve hit the end of the road. Please kindly return to your proper skin hue, and don’t forget to clean up any torn clothing on your way out.

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By: Mandy Treccia

     Columbia’s chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, led by Howard Schlossberg, held a seminar on April 28 to give students tips on how to apply and prepare for internships.

     Jennifer Halperin, the internship coordinator for the journalism department, told the students in the audience that it is never too early to apply for an internship. Halperin recommended students make appointments with her to find the internships they are best suited for.

     Halperin and Schlossberg both urged students to be persistent and to use the resources available to them in the department. Halperin receives new emails every day from various news outlets looking for interns and passes them on to the students who have talked to Halperin and asked to be put on her email list.

     Angie Wiatrowski, a junior sports reporting major, talked about her experience interning at Set Magazine, a sports and entertainment publication. One of Wiatrowski’s first assignments was to fly to Arizona and cover the Chicago White Sox spring training.

     “I was right there in the clubhouse, in the locker room with all the other media,” Wiatrowski said. She has been covering the team for the magazine ever since and credits Schlossberg for telling her about the internship.

     “He announced it in class and I was one of the few people who wrote down the information and applied for it,” Wiatrowski said.

     Halperin reminded students that internships can be applied to college electives credits and she said most employers prefer students do the internships for school credit. She also said students need to remember to be professional and always be on time and dress professionally.

     Students interested in learning more about internships can contact Jennifer Halperin in the journalism department at 312-369-8994 or email her at jhalperin@colum.edu.